I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
my liver is dry heaving
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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