So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
