Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i came on her dog
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I need moral support for this bender
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
