he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
