This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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