guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
