The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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