Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
