If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
