I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
