i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just cropdusted the office
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
