Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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