Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
