im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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