ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize