How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
