Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
