yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
