maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
