IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wish you could order shots online.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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