Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
