I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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