I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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