What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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