And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
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