i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This girl is more easily done than said...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
