What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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