True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
