Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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