Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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