There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
pray to the hookup gods
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
