My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
