RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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