it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
