Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
