Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
