There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
His nipple licking is glorious
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