You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
