My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
