need another drink. this is the easiest way
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
