let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
