Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
