I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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