even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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