whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
