Christians are straight up FREAKS
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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