South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
