I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize