he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
