i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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