I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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