i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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