She's JV to your varsity
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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