We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
