i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
