4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
