Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
