woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
