Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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