But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
