its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
