eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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