I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
