question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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