Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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