Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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