I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
