And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
