She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Do vagina's smell?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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